A moment in The Sun

In early 2005, a Chilean journalist came back from the fertility temple at Chuicuto in Peru with a shocking revelation. The large rock penises there were not thousands of years old, but more like 12 years old. The villagers, sick of being left off the lucrative local tourist trail, had fashioned themselves a johnson temple designed to attract puerile types like me.

The story did the rounds and, presently, was picked up by The Sun Newspaper, Britain’s best-selling tabloid. Naturally they wanted a pic and when they googled "penis temple", rhymer.net came up. Try it: I really do have the number 1 spot for both "penis temple" and, for what it's worth, "penis gourd." It is a point of real pride. The next I knew of it a friend called asking "isn’t that your girlfriend on page 39 of The Sun." Naturally I was delighted as The Sun often prints pictures of ladies with their boobies out. Then I discovered they'd just swiped my pic. My faith in a great British institution was badly shaken.

So I spoke to a lawyer and then spoke to the Sun’s picture desk. In fairness to them, they didn’t argue (possibly because they didn't have a third leg to stand on) and paid up promptly. Sadly, although you may assume having a picture published without permission in a paper that sells around 4 million is a quick route to riches, it isn’t. It also failed to launch my (now) wife on the glamour modelling career of her dreams. It was, quite literally, just a moment in The Sun.

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